Category Archives: Family

Stillbirth – Counting My Blessings

Stillbirth – a very upsetting topic indeed… But it needs to talked about so that you can cope with the grief.

Thank God, I’ve never had to go through this, so why all of a sudden am I blogging about this?

Last week, where I work, I was asked by a male member of staff to attend to a lady. She was very tearful and wanted something to stop her milk supply. My initial thoughts after a few minutes of talking to her was that she was tearful because she had developed very painful engorgement of the breasts (due to her milk supply)… But as we talked more, we got deeper into conversation. She revealed that she had a stillbirth a week ago and today she had to register the birth… The engorgement was painful and yes, she wanted something to treat it.. But actually, she just wanted somebody to talk to… To break down to… To release all the emotions to… And I happened to be that person.

I sometimes forget the emotional side of dealing with patients; the person on the other side of the counter; the person you give advice to and treat. There can be so much to do in one day… You see so many patients/customers… Today was truely a reminder to myself that I can make a difference in someone’s life… And also, a reminder of the blessings upon me.

Stillbirth and miscarriage can be devastating for the baby’s parents (& their families).. Not many will choose to talk about it… However, if you have been through it or am going through it, you are not alone. There are many support groups out there. Some groups are run by parents who have experienced stillbirth. Some are run by healthcare professionals such as specialist midwives and baby loss support workers.

If you happen to land on this page of my blog whilst searching for info. on this topic, all I wish to share with you is a big mahussive hug and tell you that somebody out there loves you… X

Support groups:
sands.org.uk
The Miscariage Association
GOV.UK: What to do if someone dies

Egg-free and Dairy-free Cooking

I am not sure whether I did mention – but when my oldest daughter Chloe was born and we started to wean her off breast-milk, she had an allergy to cow’s milk.. then as we tried new foods one by one, we noticed more allergies to certain foods.

Being all new to motherhood, and then these allergies to certain foods surfacing – life suddenly became more complicated than what I expected. Especially when I was not an expert at cooking and I was at that time living in Singapore… You could not get dairy or egg-free alternatives.

Fast forward a few years and I’m back in UK. And the choices of alternatives is great.

A few months back my older 2 kids had blood tests done – IgE allergy testing to a range of foods. The outcome was amazing as it had shown that they had out-grown their allergies to certain foods. Although there is a clinically significant response to cow’s milk, they can now eat egg, seafood, citrus foods, berries… All of a sudden, I was lost! I had only known how to cook foods with limited ingredients! I only knew certain sections of the supermarket because our food shopping always revolved around the allergies. After 7 years of allergy-free cooking, I had too much choice!

My youngest one has yet to be tested as she is only 2 years old. But egg makes her come out in an eczemous rash… so I still try to follow an egg-free and dairy-free diet for her.

Just to share with you, some of the things they helped me cook today:

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Fusilli pasta in Egg-free, Milk-free Carbonara sauce with lactose-free grated cheese.

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Dairy-free apple crumble with custard.

We Want A Pet!

About a month ago, my two eldest children say to me “Can we have a pet?” I have tried to withhold from agreeing to this for a while now because, 1) You need to spend time, care and love with your pet – something which I felt, I may not be able to give – or even give equally, 2) Costs, 3) If we go on holiday, who would look after it..

Anyhows, we ended up agreeing to some pet fish. After agreeing to this – there was then the issue of which fish tank and where to put the fish tank!

The house is small. Everywhere you look, there is something in each corner and along each wall. My youngest child Belle is 2 years of age. She is at the age whereby she is curious; she puts things in her mouth; she uses her toy cooking utensils to hit things like a drum; she opens and squirts creams; she pulls all the tissue out of the packs…. Then there’s my son, Andre – whom as a boy, loves to do boyish things – like kick a football in the house; jump off the sofas! I’m sure you get the picture. There is simply no safe place to put this fish tank! But my kids were sad, especially Chloe (who is the most responsible one!). So as a parent, we always try to make them happy!

After much deliberation – we found the location – the windowsill!

I’m Back!

Oh my, has it really been that long? It only felt like yesterday…

I can’t really pin-point what made me end up on my blog site after so long; why I stopped writing in the first place; why I want to start writing again! Whatever it is, I’m glad I am back…

Looking back through the last few posts I wrote, I wonder if there are still those friends and readers who still follow me… Still periodically look at my updates, hoping that I will resurface. Only time will tell eh!

Like I used to, I sit at my laptop. But today, the difference is, I am surrounded by 3 children! The last few posts that were written on this blog, DnA had just had our first child.

Let me introduce to you Chloe, Andre and Belle.

ABC

What Can We Do In Singapore – Things To Do In Singapore

Saturday morning, my wife woke me up and asked me, what are we going to do today…

I was totally dreading it whenever she ask me this question. Don’t get me wrong, I love to do things with my family and if I can spend all my time with them and not worry other things in life, I would definitely choose to spend all my time with them. The only dreading part is, I kinda run out of ideas these days (after a 4 years stay in Singapore with my wife), especially now that we have 2 young ones, nap times, meals outside, it is different when it was just my mum, my wife and myself, and with a car back then.

Anyways I googled What can we do in Singapore and found that, we have already done all of those things found on lonely planet, tripadvisor and the sorts…. Whatever that we have not done, are not really suitable for the kids. We are also looking forward to going to Universal Studios Singapore, to see the difference.

In the end we have decided to go to Ikea, to go get a clock for the kids’ room and Mama needs a duvet cover. So meatballs here we come!!

Happy Father’s Day…

Dearest Hupps,

Happy Father’s Day… I know I don’t say it out aloud but it’s there in my heart…

Thank you for your love (as a husband and as a father to our beautiful children); thank you for providing for our needs; thank you for being there as our support and pillar; thank your for everything…

I know, at times, I neglect you after a long and tiring day with the kids and chores; I don’t appreciate your positions; I nag and am negative; I expect so much off you, when you already give so much for/to me… but I promise to give you the space, for you to be yourself and to constantly remind myself to make the time – for each other and to love each other… I/we love you!

A Spoonful Of Sugar….

Like the song goes – ‘A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down…’ Yip, good ol’ Mary Poppins! Just like when things/kids test your patience, and there’s so much to do and things go/taste foul – it’s great knowing that you can just gulp it down cos it’s not all that bad with a spoonful of sugar!!! – (kind words, hugs and acknowledgement from loved ones, friends etc, waking up to the great surroundings called life!)…

Currently, life is sweet and yip, trying to lead a relatively simple or should I say, simpler life – so yeah – trying to live my life!

Gosh, it HAS been some time since I updated my blog re: the children and ourselves… So her we go! Well, in short….

1) Chloe has hit the terrible two’s…. BAD!! There’s no more chilled-out Chloe…. just Crazy Chloe who screams when she doesn’t get her way! We’ve had to buy and use the cane… Naughty room…. But sometimes, these just don’t work either! But I must say, what does generally calm her down is when we say “Do you want to see outside?” And then she stops screaming/crying and we hold her to look out the window! After that, it may result in normality or more demands/screaming!

2) Chloe now sleeps in a toddler’s bed with a small safety railing to protect her from falling…. Great thing is that Andre has moved out of our bedroom to sleep in the same room as Chloe! Yay!! Thought we would have major issues, but both enjoying each other’s company, chatting away, crying away together… but alls good…. They both seem to sleep well together, so yeah, that’s good… And nope, Chloe hasn’t fallen out of her bed… Yet!!!

3) Andre has started to crawl (but will only crawl to you if you are a few steps away… if you are further, he’ll just winge/cry and won’t crawl!), started to pull himself up… getting more curious but suffering from separation anxiety at the moment!…

4) Chloe needs more attention nowadays – esp when she sees us giving attention to Andre… Sister jealousy kicking in me thinks!

5) Proper dribbler our Andre! Bibs galore on the washing poles every other day! 5 teeth showing now….

6) Daze still a stay at home mum (SAHM)…. Nothing much to report here that’s too interesting!

7) Allan, also nothing exciting to report! Yip, we’re boring – so much for living the life eh!!! lol ;p

The ADCA clan!
Can’t think of anything else at the mo… so night all!!!

Daze
x

Big, Small, Big, Small… Which One?

Nope, I’m not gambling on a casino table nor am I contemplating having anything enlarged or made smaller….!

For the past few days, weeks and months – this topic has come to my mind so many times… It just comes and goes… Do I want a big or small family?! And just for your info, nope, DnA are not trying for baby number three and nope, I am not preggers!

I always wanted 3 children, at least… However, now that I have 2 (or as I put it, a family ticket of 4) – I can’t imagine what it would be like with a third child…. Andre is now just over 8 months and as I sit here thinking about another addition – can I or do I want to go through the whole saga of sleepless nights, nappies, colic, crying etc?!?!? Already with 2 kids, I feel that there is alot to do! I feel as though I am continually washing baby clothes (esp bibs, as Andre goes through enough, since he has been dribbling due to teething since 3.5 months!), disturbed sleep (Andre still sometimes needs feeding and Chloe may also suddenly need mummy and daddy in the wee hours of the morning)… Sometimes, they are so clingy and dependent on me, that I feel I lose my own identity and have less time for myself! Everything is about them and my whole day, week, month revolves around them… I feel the sheer responsibility of having to provide for them, look after them, make sure they are clean and fed well… In addition to all that, how would my body cope?!?!? Chloe was born 3.25 kg, Andre was 4.14kg… The skin on my tummy would surely sag to the max should the next baby be any bigger!!!

But having said all that – I come from a large immediate family.. I have 4 sisters and 1 brother and although, at times, things used to be chaotic at home – debates, mess, clutter, noise etc… Thinking back, I loved it! I loved the fact that it was cosy! I probably complained back then tho! Now that some are married and have kids – family gatherings are great! The hustle and bustle!!

Allan has just 1 sister…. And sometimes, I feel the atmosphere is not the same.. It’s quiet… Maybe too quiet?!?! Esp during big events….

Anyways, just thought I’d share it… Even if I did want another, maybe I couldn’t conceive anyways! So, what’s the point of thinking or worrying about it… Right?!?!?

“Don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own…” Matthew 6:34

Daze
x

Electric Bicycles

I was wondering if I would get one of these electric bicycles in UK and send my kids to school using such transportation.

ITs great to move around the traffic in the busiest traffic time, its electric = no emissions. Its a fun way of doing a chore. WE could even go to Somerfields in Danescourt easily for a last minute shopping..

Hmmm, now is it road legal?? Price?

Some More

I dropped off Chloe to playgroup/school this morning… As normal, I would give her a little snack along the way… Today, I gave it slightly later, so, upon arriving at school, she was still munching away..

Teacher: Do you feed Chloe enough food?
Me: Why do you say that?
Teacher: She’s always so hungry!
Me: She’s always eating!!
Teacher: We asked her whether she drinks milk and she said yes.. Yesterday, she finished her snacks you packed and there were lots, but she just kept saying ‘Some more, some more’!!
Me: *Thinking in my mind… That’s my girl!!*….. I then went on to explain her routine to the teacher…

Oh my, for those who know our little Chloe, whose tummy is not so little… she loves to eat! Sometimes, it worries me that she eats so much?!?!? Maybe she has worms – but it can’t be, cos she’s not losing weight! But then, I shouldn’t need to worry because she’s not obese either!! She just loves food!! Good really!

Chloe’s routine:
7am Wake-up, 200ml milk
8am Breakfast
If there’s school: 9:20am snack, 9:30am school starts, then 11:30am snack at school
If there’s no school: 10am snack
12 midday Lunch
1-3pm Nap time
3:30pm Snack
5pm Dinner
6pm Bath
6:30pm 200ml milk
7pm Bedtime

Then the whole process repeats itself!!! Seems ok, right?!?!?

Daze x